i give you, the melchior files

Day 1:

We began the day around 11:30, loading up the jeep and beginning our quest to D.C. We made excellent time, arriving in North Platte, NE ahead of schedule. After some really awkward moments with people we had never met (the Bryant’s), we continued our journey through the vast wasteland people refer to as Nebraska. In the car, we listened to music in which Ethan referred to as “genius,” which in reality, licked donkey balls. Oh man, it was bad. We came to the conclusion that Ethan likes music that makes you want to kill yourself, while I like music that makes you want to kill everyone else. =)

Before exiting the crap-hole state of Nebraska, we made a stop in Lincoln. We did this because Lincoln is home to the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and they in fact lick balls. The campus was nothing to look at, but the women sure were. These girls were corn-fed premium grade A-top choice. The best part about the campus was the fact that there were no beatnik hippies running around making the place smell bad. (For those of you who know me, know this is a very big deal). Before jumping back on I-80, we stopped for dinner at a place called “King Kong,” or as we referred to it, “King Dong.” We should have known going in that this was going to be an experience. The workers were from an origin that we could not depict, although we think they had a little Greek going on. The worker asked us what kind of “booger” we wanted. We ordered a couple double cheeseburgers thinking nothing of it. (Chuck I want my double burger..) What we got were two monstrosities of meals. These “boogers” were big enough to feed fat kids for an entire day, and were even harder to eat. Ethan managed due to his overwhelming capability to stuff large pieces of meat in his mouth…

After that, we jumped back on the highway and are making our way through Iowa as we speak. I am typing on my computer, while Ethan is listening to music on his Ipod that makes him squeal/sing like a little girl… That silly little bitch! Anyways, the trip is going strong, and Chicago ain’t gonna see what’s comin when we roll in tomorrow… Until then.. -Rye